One of the reasons I love adoption is that every adoption experience is different. Each situation is unique with different circumstances and different people.
I have felt very blessed in this experience. Today was no exception. I am going to refer to her as “A” from now on. I don’t want to share her name or a ton about her just out of respect for her. Again, if there weren’t so many people interested in adoption- I would probably not share any info about today. I love her so much and just want to honor her throughout this process.
Today was nothing short of amazing. We were so nervous and excited. It feels like we have waited for this day since August of 07. I have imagined what it would be like and I can say that it exceeded my expectations!
We got there this morning and met with our social worker for about 30 mins and then A and her social worker came into the room. We were so excited to finally see her!! We gave her flowers and hugged. She was so nervous and excited. We sat down and the conversation just started flowing. I don’t think the social workers said anything until about 30 mins into it! She asked so many questions about us and who we are. We did the same about her. We asked what her interests were and what she liked to do. We asked what her fears were and if there were any deeper questions that she wanted to ask us. There were several questions that she asked that were so convincing to us that she has an enormous love for this baby. We never doubted that but it was so fun to see it in her face. She is so beautiful and has an incredible personality!! We never stopped talking the entire time. She said over and over that she was so excited for us. That was very hard for me to hear. I wanted to encourage her and love on her and in turn she was glowing and so very excited for us. I wanted to be able to tell her that back but I can imagine that there will be sadness ahead for her. The reality was very difficult. I don’t even have words to describe that feeling.
When we began this process and throughout I have said that I will love that baby for as long as we have him. I did not feel as if I could call him my own until the 10 days were up and everything was done. Today I left with a very different feeling. I felt as if she was pleading for us to love this baby as our own from the time he comes out of her. She stated that she has thought about this decision for 9 months and she feels like she is carrying this baby for us. Did you get that? For us. This statement knocked me off my feet. I NEVER thought she would feel that way. I guess I thought she would be wavering in her decision. She sounds so sure of what she really really wants to do. I left with a sense of ownership after I saw her sweet face and listened to her ask us to be ready to parent this child because thats what she wanted. I have such a deep love and respect for her. She chose life for this baby. She LOVES this baby but this is what she wants. I just feel so humbled and honored. So I am ready. I am ready to treat this child as our own because that is what A wants. She really really wants that. If she changes her mind- we will be fine. This is just a huge way for us to honor her right now. She told us that she wants us to be excited and to not fear about her changing her mind because she isn’t going to.
So yes, we are elated. I have 2 more solid nights of sleep and then its all over!!!! I am taking time tomorrow just to get everything ready, pray and read. I am very excited. We will go Thursday and at noon will have a baby!! I really feel that God was honored today. I hope He was. We wanted her to see him and be able to share as much as we could of his love for us. We prayed with her and hugged and had a wonderful time. I will never forget today. It is just as special as the day we will see August.
We had one big thing that we learned today. The “10” days won’t be up until the 23rd. There are a couple reasons as to why but I won’t go into all that. We laughed out loud when we heard that. God is just so wanting us to be stretched and to trust Him. We just had to laugh. We will be fine.
Oh one more thing- we got a call today and there is a guy who is trying to get financing to put an offer on our house!! Does anybody see how hilarious this all is????? We are praying that he gets it and that this will be the end of our house selling strains!!
Thank you all so much for walking with us and praying. Please please pray for A as she goes in Thursday. I know she is very nervous and ready for all of this to be over. I am just praying for peace and for her to be able to sleep easy these next 2 nights. Please pray that we can share more of God with her. We love you guys and thank you for your prayers today!!!
38 hours and counting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!