My heart is so heavy today. My longings for this child grow stronger and stronger each day. I really feel like my heart is safely resting in the hands of God knowing that He is the only one who knows the details and timing of our lives. I feel like I am resting and trusting. I am a little perplexed as to what I do with these longings? Sometimes they are excitement, sometimes they are sadness. I find myself being a little more quiet these days! They are just really strong right now. I just feel so ready- but I know that will all change when a baby is placed in my arms! I am soooo thankful this is the route we were supposed to go first. I long to be pregnant one day but my heart could not be more excited with where we are today. I walk into our room full of baby stuff and just long for him/her to be a part of our lives. I am ready for a child that runs to me as mommy and wants me to comfort them! I am ready for a child that is dying to see and be held by daddy! I can’t wait to see Steven’s heart melt when he feels that love from this child. Its so weird because when we started this process we wanted a boy so badly! I can say that I find myself longing for a beautiful little girl too! I am absolutely ok with either and would take both of I could! 🙂
The weeks are so weird now. I love Mondays! I know they are in the office and working. Its the beginning of the week and who knows what the week will hold? I just want my phone to ring! Friday’s are a little harder 😦 All in all we are doing great and getting more and more excited. This is just the strangest process with the craziest emotions! Please keep praying for our mom who is making tough decisions, for the rest of our money that we need and for our house to sell! I have been overwhelmed with all of you who have been reading this blog. I am so sorry that we don’t post more! Your comments have been so sweet and we are rejoicing and understanding all the hurts and struggles with each of you who are in the adoption process too. We are praying for you too! Thank you for reading.
I got my diaper bag in the mail today and cannot wait to use it!