Well this weekend I was able to venture off with my husband on the road and spend some time away and in thought. I so appreciate the prayers from the previous blog. I am kinda astounded that I wrote that blog just a couple of days ago and God is so faithful to remind me of who He is and what He has called us too. The more that I am learning about this life the more I am reminded of why I feel like we were called to adopt in the first place.
Several years ago my dream was to be married to a man on staff at a church, have a big house, a nice car and live a nice comfortable life and have lots of kids. I was reminded of how much God has changed me and my heart. The longer I live in my small 2 bedroom, 900 square foot house the more I adore it. God is doing something in our hearts and I long for my life to be all about making a difference. I am not saying that I would not like a larger house one day but if I am blessed with that house I want it to be packed and used to make a difference.
I want my life to be about helping people. I want to adopt kids from different countries. I want to work with the homeless more. I want to go to other countries and do mission work on a frequent basis. I want to pay for someone’s adoption one day. I want to support girls who feel lost and need help and use my house to give them a place to stay and get on their feet. I want to work at an orphanage one day. I want to move to another country and live there and dedicate my life to helping these people know the Lord. I just look around this society and wonder- is money enough? Is your big house enough? Are you happy? Are you making a difference? Are you dreaming? What are you doing to influence others?
What is my first excuse? We don’t have the money to do that. We don’t have the money to adopt. We don’t have the money to go overseas. We don’t have the money to pay for someone’s adoption. I think my husband and I are deciding that the more we sacrifice the more others can be blessed. The less I spend on junk the more money we would have to bless others. I don’t think we should all wear paper bags but there is SOOO much that we as Americans could cut out of our lives. Maybe it takes buying a smaller or less extravagant house. Maybe it takes me not buying new clothes for a while. Maybe it takes us not eating out as much. Less is more.
This brings me to the question: Why are we adopting? I want to get outside my comfort zone and trust the God that has told us to walk down this road. I want to help a mom and a child. I want to help a child that could sit in an orphanage or state custody not have to go through that. I want to help a girl who walks into an adoption agency with a child and makes the incredibly heroic decision to place her child up for adoption. I want to support her whole-heartedly if she changes her mind. I want to bust outside of being a “white” family. I want to love the beauty of different colored skin and celebrate it. I want a tangible picture of God adopting me (a gentile) into his family and calling me his daughter. I want others to see the magnitude of Gods love. I just know that I am humbled that He wants to use us- all of us!!! I think most of all I just want to DO something.