My little August,

Today is one of those days that my thoughts are overwhelmed with love for you. This morning at church I had my 6 year olds in a circle teaching them about obeying God and I found myself longing to teach you about life and loving God. I can’t wait for our talks. I want to hear the thoughts that spill out of your head. I want to hear your questions and your why’s. I want to see your dad’s love for you. I want to see you melt his heart. I want to take you out to lunch with our friends and let you play with all 3 of the Ivey boys. I want to walk by and see you playing with Mandy and Eric’s baby in your infant class and be reminded of the journey of adoption and how we have longed for you two. I want you to be a part of my everyday life. I want to drive my car and look at you in the rear view mirror. I want to go to target and see an outfit that would look so cute on you. I want to kiss all over your face. I want to feed you and look into your eyes and tell you over and over that I love you. I want to watch your dad’s face as he gags while changing your awful dirty diaper 🙂
I wonder if you are in your birthmoms tummy now. I wonder if you have fingers and toes. I wonder if you are 1 month or 5 months or even 9 months old. I wonder how all of our lives will change when you get here. I think about you all the time. It makes me feel closer to you to sit down and work on silly paperwork that I need to get done today. I want to spend my day working on things that bring me closer to you. I love you and I am praying for you and your precious birthmom today.

Advertisements

8 Responses to My little August,

  1. savingdowensky says:

    Maris – you will be a FABOULOUS mommy to little August.

    I too can’t wait for all THREE of my boys to play with your baby!

  2. Tamara Cosby says:

    I can’t wait to watch you and Bush with sweet August! It is going to be awesome and fun and exciting and I just know Bush is going to be hilarious when he changes diapers!

  3. you guys dont sell me short on the diaper changing thing. i grew up doing that stuf…my mom had a daycare. and just for the record i was the first and only SPUR guy to change one of caydens green explosions. it might have been my last also…but i was still the first none the less. however…there will be plenty of gagging stories im sure when august drops a duece.

  4. roni says:

    First let me say, I wish you well on you journey to start a family.
    I would just like to clear something up. you stated, “I wonder if you are in your birthmoms tummy now” Well, she’s not a birthmother yet. A mother does not become a birthmother until she signs TPR (Termination of Parental RIghts). She is an expectant mother as any other woman.
    From reading your blog you seem to have respect and care for mothers that decide on an adoption plan for their child. I respect that and hope you someday have your August.

  5. marisbush says:

    Thanks for your comment. The reason I stated it this way is because I know that God knows what all happens in the end. I was looking big picture instead of small details. I was writing a letter to August not the birthmom. I will be honest- it gets a little hard to share the thoughts in your heart toward this situation when you are afraid that people are going to pick apart every word that you say. However we want to share our journey, we want something that August can look back on one day and we will continue to do so.

  6. roni says:

    I didn’t at all want to “pick apart” your letter. It is very beautiful and one reading it definately can feel the love.
    I guess when you look at it from a birth-first mothers view (which I’m not, but ALMOST was) when you see this term it kinda hurt. All in all the expectant mother has only a few months of glory being called mother. Where as aparents have the rest of their lives once all is final. It’s understandable that birthmother is used for clarification, the same as I use aparents (adoptiive parents) for clarification.
    I was called a birthmother while being pregnant. My PAP (prospective adoptive parents) would talk to my belly and say “Your birthmother is so nice, blah, blah, blah” -They jumped the gun. Even when talking to my (or their as they thought) child, credit needs to be given where credit is due. Mothering starts at the beginning of the pregnancy, and may end when TPR is signed. Your child should know that his birthmother was a good mother when she had that time. (Hopefully, she will be, due to drugs-n-all it’s not always that way.)
    Again, I didn’t want to “pick” at your letter, just my feelings. I’m sorry if it came across that way.

  7. roni says:

    Sorry for posting again-I tried to find an email, but was unsuccessful. Today as I sat to write my blog entry all that came to mind was our lil conversation. I made a post on it. I will not make a link to your blog, unless you OK me to do so. Please just let me know. Thank you

  8. marisbush says:

    Hey roni- my email is maris@spur58.com
    I would really love to talk to you. I am so so sorry for this experience. Thank you for sharing your perspective. We are still learning.
    Is there anyway you could email me? I would really love to read your post but I couldn’t get to your blog from our website. I would love to be able to talk to you further 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: